They Always Follow Me (from The American Idea, 1908)

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Lyrics

I’ve had a lot of trouble since I came to gay Paree,
With title selling Frenchmen chasing wildly after me.
And why they follow me around I just can’t understand;
One of them grabbed me yesterday and tried to kiss my hand.
They always follow me, they always follow me,
No matter where I chance to stray,
They’re after me both night and day.
I’m turning them away, with great diplomacy;
These roaming, roaming, roaming Romeos,
Keep running after me.

It’s worth a trip across the pond to see the way they flirt,
These Frenchmen rave at any noise that sounds just like a skirt.
But little me is more than wise, experienced, you see,
And to these broken counts I sing, “No wedding bells for me!”
They always follow me...

They follow me with Taxi Cabs when I go for a drive,
And when I dine, they swarm around like bees around a hive;
And if my laces come untied, as laces often do,
They start in fighting duels over who shall tie my shoe.
They always follow me...

They whistle Yankee Doodle every time that I appear,
But it’s the Yankee Boodle that they’re after, never fear;
I may look very easy, still, I’ll not be April fooled—
They’ll never do the things to me they did to Anna Gould!
They always follow me...